Talking about money
I was recently having a conversation with a friend about finances and being responsible with money. We shared our own experiences about managing our finances, tips-n-tricks, and whatnot. We also talked a bit about how our friends seem to manage their money and the kind of help they might get either in managing it or getting certain things paid for. It was an interesting conversation no doubt but it contrasted with one I'd had earlier this month with some other friends.
People seem to always be a bit skittish when talking money. I haven't always understood it but I was raised with the knowledge that you never really know what people do or don't have. It created a blatant curiosity and mystery about finances for me, I think. The conversation I'd had earlier this month sorta proved it was there.
I was talking with a friend about cars. He has multiple project cars and is a car enthusiast. Our discussion was related to one in particular that was in great shape that he was proudly telling me that he got a great deal on. Seemingly inviting me to ask what he paid for it. When I asked him the price, he sorta recoiled and said "for some people that would be a rude question to ask." He said he wasn't bothered by it while saying essentially "just some people might be bothered so keep that in mind." I of course did the nice thing and told him I didn't mean to offend while rolling my eyes to myself (this was a text chat).
Withholding that type of question would have felt weird to me. Living where I do, it's extremely common to ask about what one pays for rent. Cost of things is always a factor and people don't seem scared to discuss it. Since I recently bought an apartment, conversations about price came up at work and my coworkers were eager to discuss it with me. Especially the ones who live nearby me. My one coworker explained that he bought his house with renting the upstairs unit in mind to help with the cost. He paid around $600K for it and lamented not buying property in the neighborhood I moved to because he could have ended up with a higher property value now compared to when he was in the market. This conversation was inoffensive and beneficial to both of us as well living in the same real estate market.
I've also had frank conversations with my coworkers about our salaries in the past. This is arguably a far more divisive topic than the cost of housing or cars yet it happened without much fuss over one of our lunches together. That's why the "some people might find that offensive" comment really kind of surprised me. Almost bothered me in fact. In the environments I've been in, talking about money isn't really seen as all that taboo. The reasons we discuss money are incredibly valid. It's not simply information we use to compare ourselves to others (though we certainly do that) but also enabling us to undercut a system used to extract and keep as much money as possible from us at every turn - especially so for big purchases or career advancement. It's a really weird and pretty messed up cultural norm that I wish would die quite honestly.