Having hard conversations
Having hard conversations with close friends maybe not as bad as you think? I had to have one with a friend over vacation and it ended up resolving surprisingly well. My friend is in therapy and working through some issues. During our conversation they were able to immediately recognize the behavior we were discussing was a result of these issues. Them being able to reflect in this way is the result of work that not everyone has done for sure. It feels like growth for them and growth for me though.
I'm very conflict-averse. Almost to a fault. Sometimes I wonder if I keep more difficult friends around longer than I should but it seems that eventually we reach equilibrium and the friendship is able to continue without much toxicity. Maybe I'm putting up invisible walls in some cases but either way, it's going alright so far. The friends I don't have walls up with are a select few and definitely some of my closest.